Sunday, September 27, 2009

Possible Domestic Abuse Situation

Not to make light of the very serious issue to which my title alludes, but I might just be beaten to a pulp by my wife tonight. I was ironing our clothes while she was off squaring things away for the new school we are opening, and like the inexperienced ironer that I am, I burned one of her favorite tops. There's a huge hole in this white angelic affair, now, with parchment colored edges. Just got off the phone with her, and there was an awful disappointment in her voice. I offered one of my favorite shirts to be burned, but she declined, saying it wouldn't bring back her nice blouse. She's being very graceful about this, but I haven't ruled out possible and deserved violence directed upon my person when she gets home. 

All this after flooding our kitchen and living room yesterday. I arrived home from an all morning teaching gig to find her waiting for the water man. He shows up, puts the huge plastic water tank in our living room and takes the old empty vessel away. So far, so good. I then hoist the new water tank, carry it to the kitchen to set it down on the floor where we normally keep them when they're full (our "water cooler" is pretty cheap and we're not confident it can hold the weight of a full tank). So, I lightly drop the tank on the ceramic tiled floor and crack! and sploosh! there goes all that water into the hallway, rushing into the living room, and all throughout the kitchen. "Oh no Oh no Oh no!" So I spent a good twenty or thirty minutes mopping up spring water. (No carpet, so it could have been worse) Adding insult to injury, we had to pay for a new bottle on top of the charge for more water. Jesus. 

Lesson: always pay attention to the thickness of a plastic water tank before just dropping it on the ground. I've handled these babies before, in nearly every office where I've worked. The Poland Springs and Abita! tanks are much sturdier than these local Brazilian brands. 

The burned blouse? I should have looked at the label. And to punish myself further, I'm recounting my idiocy here so that 1st grade classmates googling me can rest assured I've come a long way from stuffing crayons up my nose. 


  1. You will destroy other things precious to her. Profuse apologies, promises not to do it again, and future assiduous reading of labels will help. But his favorite shirt now being too small because you ran it through the drier? He won't forget. I mean, blouse, iron, you know.

    On the other hand I'm sure she will hurt something of yours (maybe your feelings) and never even notice. Sigh.